i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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