I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
