theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
