thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
