I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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