You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
