We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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