I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize