marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
it hurts more in the daytime
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
