But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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