she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
