so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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