so explain again why im purple
no
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
