He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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