hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
