You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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