I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
