His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
