you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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