just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hope mine doesn't look like that
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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