Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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