We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
