Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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