Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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