Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
