Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
