so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im six kinds of drunk right now
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
