dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
