i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
