Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Shame - the story of my life.
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