She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
