he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
