turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
