never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
