Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
