Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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