my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
