I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
