Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
nutella sex= disaster
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
