when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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