She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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