Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
