im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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