Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
