She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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