his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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