So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
