Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
