so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
