he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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