you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
