She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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