i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
