i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Someone stole a lamp last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize