I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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