i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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